Topic:
The limits of obedience to parents
(No-33482)
Assalam alaykoum wa rahmatullah,
I hope you are well. I am contacting you because I need your religious opinion regarding an important situation for me.
I plan, in Allah, to go live in Algeria next year. I wish to strengthen my practice, live in an environment where I can wear the hijab without being insulted or remarked as here in France, because it affects my faith and well-being a lot. With each trip to Algeria, I feel calm and safe, and I would like to test a year there to see if I could settle there permanently. I plan to continue my law studies at a distance, an important point for my father.
However, my father categorically refuses that I live in Algeria for now. This refusal is not related to the fact of moving away from him, because he has already allowed me to go to another country. His concerns are mainly of a material nature, because he does not consider Algeria as a country suitable for building stability in the dunya. On my side, what he wishes for my future does not match my religious values, especially because the field of law involves a lot of mixity, which I wish to avoid.
Another important point: if I don’t go to Algeria, I will be forced to leave the family home to live alone in another city, without mahram, which worries me a lot. In Algeria, I will live with my uncles and my grandmother, so I will be supervised and not alone.
My question is therefore: Is it permissible, in my situation, to consider moving to Algeria despite my father’s refusal, knowing that my intention is to preserve and strengthen my faith, that I will be surrounded by my family, and that my father is only opposed to the country within himself-even and not about the fact that I live abroad?
BarakAllahu fikoum for your help and guidance.
Respected Sister,
Regarding your question, the following clarifications are required:
Is Algeria your original homeland, or is it some other country or region? And what is your age?
Do your uncles in Algeria have adult sons living in the same house? Only after these matters are clarified can your question be answered.
answer:
Yes, Algeria is my country of origin for my whole family and me. We all have Algerian nationality (parents, grandparents, uncle, aunt, brother and sister), and we visit the country and our family there at least once a year (for about two months). I am currently 20 years old, so I will be 21 next September. None of my uncles have sons, only daughters. I could also consider living with my grandmother or one of my uncles.
It should be noted that obedience to parents is obligatory in permissible matters, provided they do not command something that violates the Shar‘i limits and principles.
In the given situation, if it is truly difficult for you to protect your Deen and live a modest, Shari‘ah-compliant life while living in France, whereas in Algeria—where your grandmother and uncle live—protecting your Din is easier under their supervision, and since your father’s prevention is only due to worldly and material reasons and not due to any religious reason, then in such a case, if there is no fear of falling into any fitnah by going there, it is permissible for you to go to Algeria. However, it is much better to undertake this course of action with your father’s permission and under his guidance, so that his displeasure may be avoided.
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دلائل:
سنن الترمذي: (3/ 503، رقم الحديث: 1803، ط: الرسالة)
حَدَّثَنَا قُتيبةُ، حَدَّثَنَا اللَّيْثُ، عن عُبَيْدِ الله بن عُمرَ، عن نَافعٍ عن ابن عُمرَ، قال رَسولُ الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: "السَّمْعُ والطَّاعةُ على المرءِ المُسْلمِ فِيما أحَبَّ وكَرِهَ ما لم يُؤْمَرْ بِمَعْصيةٍ، فإنْ أُمِرَ بِمَعْصيةٍ، فلا سَمْعَ عَليْهِ ولا طَاعةَ".
وفي البابِ عن عَليٍّ، وعِمْرانَ بن حُصَيْنٍ، والحَكَمِ بن عَمْرٍو الغِفَاريِّ.
وهذا حديثٌ حَسَنٌ صحيحٌ.»
Allah Almighty knows best,
Darul ifta Al-Ikhlas, Karachi