Topic:
Demanding Divorce Before Rukhsati
(No-33479)
This is an arranged marriage, but the wife and husband live in different countries, and she has not seen him for over a year while waiting for her spouse visa. The husband previously lived with a female cousin of his cousin, with whom he once had mutual feelings; the wife was not informed until after nikāh. The cousin still has feelings for him and frequently visits his household. The husband initially resisted removing her from social media and has generally not prioritized his wife or maintained visits. The in-laws are pressuring her for rukhsati while advising the husband not to visit. The wife feels emotionally detached, neglected, and concerned about fitnah, and seeks guidance on whether she may Islamically pursue khul‘ or divorce, how to protect her rights, and how to handle rukhsati and communication with her husband and in-laws.
Respected sister, there is some ambiguity in your question. Kindly clarify the following points:
Why is your rukhsati (formal sending-off) not taking place? Who is causing the delay — your side or the groom’s side?
If the delay is from the groom’s side, explain the nature of the obstacle in detail.
Also mention on what basis you are seeking khul‘ (dissolution of marriage).
Is your husband not sending the visa, or is the obstacle from the government’s side?
After this clarification, your question will be answered.
Thank you for your response.
1. The rukhsati is delayed from my side as the couple cannot live together. The groom can only visit for a week or two each year.
2. From bride’s side.
3. On the basis of not visiting and lying or keeping things before marriage.
4. It’s from the government side. The groom can work in the Middle East in the meantime but his family lives with him and wants to stay in US.
Based only on your one-sided description of the situation, it is not possible to issue any definitive ruling. It is better for you to present this matter to your elders (the ones who arranged your marriage) in a positive and respectful manner, and clearly express your concerns. In this way, the true reality of the situation will become clear and making a decision will be easier.
At times, a person may fall into suspicion or receive unverified information. In such situations, before taking any action, Islam teaches us to investigate the matter thoroughly and to give the other party an opportunity to explain themselves and repent if necessary.
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دلائل:
القرآن الکریم:(سُورۃ الحجرات، رقم الآیۃ: 12)
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِّنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَّحِيمٌ O
سنن ابی داؤد: (رقم الحدیث:2178، ط: دارالرسالة العالمیة)
عَنْ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ:" أَبْغَضُ الْحَلَالِ إِلَى اللَّهِ تَعَالَى الطَّلَاقُ۔
بدائع الصنائع: (18/4، ط: دارالکتب العلمیۃ)
فتسليم المرأة نفسها إلى الزوج وقت وجوب التسليم ونعني بالتسليم : التخلية، وهي أن تخلي بين نفسها وبين زوجها برفع المانع من وطئها أو الاستمتاع بها حقيقةً إذا كان المانع من قبلها، أو من قبل غير الزوج، فإن لم يوجد التسليم على هذا التفسير وقت وجوب التسليم؛ فلا نفقة لها.
Allah the Almighty knows best.
Darul ifta Al-Ikhlas, Karachi.