Topic: Shariah Guidance on a Violent and Abusive Daughter

Assalāmu ʿalaykum wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuh,
I am seeking an urgent and sincere Islamic ruling regarding an extremely distressing situation in my household. I respectfully request that you consider the circumstances described below before answering my question.
I am living with my elderly mother, who is 76 years old, and my three children: my eldest daughter, Hafsa, who is 26 years old, and my two younger sons, who are 22 and 21 years old. My husband passed away several years ago due to illness.
For a long period, my daughter has subjected me, my elderly mother, and my sons to severe physical and psychological abuse. She has repeatedly assaulted members of the family, causing bleeding, bruises, swelling, and other injuries. On one occasion, she beat one of my sons so severely that he lost consciousness. She has also seriously assaulted my elderly mother.
She repeatedly uses obscene and abusive language and sometimes forces family members to utter extremely inappropriate and shameful statements. She repeatedly pressures us to swear by Allah and the Qur’an and has prevented members of the household from performing Ṣalāh and reading the Qur’an. She has also repeatedly mocked and ridiculed Allah and the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and has used statements that appear to be blasphemous toward Allah and His Messenger ﷺ. She has also insulted and cursed Imam Aḥmad ibn Ḥanbal رحمه الله.
Because of the pressure and circumstances created by her conduct, members of the household have at times been prevented from fulfilling religious obligations and have been pressured toward other sins, including lying and involvement in ribā. We are deeply afraid that if this situation continues, we may be compelled or driven into committing further major sins, including unlawful financial acts, theft, or other serious wrongdoing, because of the continuing pressure and circumstances she creates. We do not want to commit these sins, but we fear that the situation may become even worse if it continues.
There are also serious concerns about her conduct and modesty within the household.
We have sought help from others, but despite their sympathy, we have not been able to obtain effective assistance. The situation has become extremely humiliating, frightening, and psychologically unbearable. My sons have even repeatedly expressed that they want to commit suicide because of the distress caused by this situation.
I have now reached a point of desperation where I have considered killing my daughter because I feel that I have no other way to bring this situation to an end. I am therefore seeking the ruling of a qualified mufti before taking any action.
My Question: In light of all of the above—particularly her repeated physical assaults against my elderly mother, myself and my sons, her causing serious injuries, her preventing us from performing our religious obligations, her repeated use of words that are blasphemous toward Allah and the Prophet ﷺ, and our fear that continued exposure to her conduct may cause us to fall into further major sins—is it Islamically permissible for me to kill her myself, or would killing her be a sinful and unlawful act?
And if killing her would be unlawful, if I were nevertheless to commit such an act and then sincerely repent to Allah, would my repentance still be possible and potentially accepted by Allah, or would such an act make repentance or forgiveness impossible?
I am asking this because I genuinely fear that the situation may lead to further serious harm, suicide, violence, or additional major sins. I do not want to disobey Allah or commit an unlawful killing, and I sincerely need to know what Islam requires me to do in this situation.
If you require evidence or would like to verify any of the statements described above, we can also provide audio recordings in Urdu containing some of the relevant conversations and incidents. We are willing to provide them if you consider them necessary for giving an accurate ruling. Please provide the ruling according to the Qur’an, authentic Sunnah, and the established principles of Islamic jurisprudence. Jazākum Allāhu khayran.

However violent, offensive or disrespectful a daughter’s behaviour may be, killing her on one’s own is absolutely haram according to Shariah and a major sin. Punishing a person, or carrying out hudud and qisas (Islamic penalties and retribution), is not the right of any individual. It belongs only to a Shariah court and the state.
In the current serious situation, the safety of your life, and the lives of your elderly mother and your sons, is the first priority. The following practical steps should be taken immediately:
Distance and safety: Keep a safe distance from the violent person. If needed, move to a safe place for the time being.
Legal and official help: To protect yourself and your family, contact the police, women’s protection services and other law enforcement agencies without delay.
Medical and psychological treatment: Do not dismiss this behaviour as mere stubbornness or rebellion. Have her examined and treated by a qualified psychiatrist or at a hospital.
The Shariah allowance for coercion (ikrah): If you were forced to say or do something because of a serious threat to your life, what counts is what is in your heart, and you will not be held sinful for it.
In short, taking the law into your own hands through suicide or killing is not the answer. According to Shariah, the correct and safest course is to protect yourself, seek official and legal help, and get her medical treatment.

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الدلائل:

*صحيح البخاري: (كتاب الديات،رقم الحدیث 6878، ط: دار طوق النجاة،)*
عن عبد الله، قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: " لايحل دم امرئ مسلم، يشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وأني رسول الله، إلا بإحدى ثلاث: النفس بالنفس، والثيب الزاني، والمارق من الدين التارك للجماعة ."

*بدائع الصنائع: (كتاب الحدود، فصل في شرائط جواز إقامة الحدود، 57/7، ط:دار الكتب العلمية)*
"وأما شرائط جواز إقامتها: فمنها ما يعم الحدود كلها، ومنها ما يخص البعض دون البعض، أما الذي يعم الحدود كلها فهو الإمامة: وهو أن يكون المقيم للحد هو الإمام أو من ولاه الإمام، وهذا عندنا."

Allah the Almighty knows best.
Darul Ifta Al-Ikhlas, Karachi.